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Welcome friends
Welcome. I’m so glad you found my blog. I’m Katie, a mid forties charity worker, who lives in the middle of England with my husband and two teenage sons. In 2017 my husband, Matt, was diagnosed as autistic and subsequently with ADHD (increasingly known as AuDHD when someone has both diagnoses). It was a complete…
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Interview with Kate
Firstly, apologies that we have been quiet for a while. We have been going through a fair amount as a family, some of which I am sure I will write about in the coming weeks. But for this week I thought I would give you a bit of an insight into me as a writer…
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Let’s Talk About Sex
Sex is one of the most widely discussed topics on the wives’ forums. For some their husbands are obsessed with sex and will never leave them alone, for others their husbands are never affectionate with them at all and sex doesn’t even figure on their radar. As with anything in the world of autism and…
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Looking for the Easy Fix
I was reading an article on procrastination in writing today (I might have been using it to procrastinate about doing yoga!) and it was talking about how people were looking for easy fixes for procrastination but actually it was just a process of learning about the situation and trying things to see what works. There…
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Why can’t he just do what he promised?
Today’s musings come from a question I saw posted in an online support group for wives of autistic people. The lady in question was very upset about her husband saying he would do things and then not doing them. Why, she asked, didn’t he just stop promising? I don’t know why her husband didn’t stop…
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When You Just Need to Rest
I have lost my writing mojo. I have started two new roles at work, been doing a lot of work on myself in therapy, having a lot of deep conversations with Matt and supporting our sons, one of whom is about to start his exams. It’s a lot and my words seem to be the…
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Do Sweat the Small Things
One of the things that can be a problem in a neurodiverse relationship is your position in relation to each other. Often I have to remind Matt of things and when I am doing that it is very hard to keep the communication on an adult to adult basis. I can often end up talking…
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Us Against Them?
This week I began to read the introduction to a book written by an autistic person who has a strong social media presence and is a great advocate for autistic rights. I had such a violent reaction to the first two pages that I shut the book and returned it to the library but I…
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Expressions of love
One of the things that Matt and I have struggled with over the years is romance and outward expressions of love. There have been numerous issues with things that I thought of as standard: no cards or gifts on days when they might have been expected, sometimes the occasion has been completely forgotten, lack of…
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When It Goes Wrong
Sometimes, with the best will in the world and both of us trying our hardest, it still goes wrong. Normally when I am coming down with something or premenstrual or just plain worn out and I just lose my temper. I am a shouter and Matt hates shouting. I shout, he freezes, I shout more.…
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Burnout
Sometimes, no matter how much we try to minimize the stresses, we all have weeks in which too much happens. Everyone will feel exhausted at the end of such a week, but Matt’s exhaustion is different. Before we understood about his AuDHD I used to get so cross at him for this. “I’m exhausted too,…
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You, Me & AuDHD 