I have lost my writing mojo. I have started two new roles at work, been doing a lot of work on myself in therapy, having a lot of deep conversations with Matt and supporting our sons, one of whom is about to start his exams. It’s a lot and my words seem to be the thing that have gone. I find that hard because writing was one of the things I had given to myself, something I can do for me at home that I can fit around all the other things. So now it has become a struggle rather than a pleasure, I feel cheated. I don’t want another thing that I have to drag myself to, I have enough of that in life already.

I wonder if one of the reasons it is feeling like that is because I am thinking I have to paint a certain picture? Despite all the things I have said, and believe, about sharing the honest stories, I am only human and sometimes, particularly when life is feeling hard and I am feeling vulnerable, I don’t want to write about the tough stuff. I want to show an ultra positive view. I feel like I have to have something ground breaking or amazing to write to you all.

And do you know what? Things actually are pretty positive right now. Matt had a psychiatrist appointment and she suggested a change in medication which has made a massive positive difference. He is like a new man. Seriously. I cannot believe the transformation. And the counselling I am doing is really helping me personally. I am in a much better place than I was six months ago. And my son is actually preparing for his exams without a whole lot of nagging on our behalf. Apart from my purse getting stolen on Friday, things are good.

But I guess that is when it hits you. Life is often such a battle for us, with all the challenges that I have written about in these posts, that when things get easier momentarily or even just slacken off slightly, the exhaustion catches up with you. I feel like I could sleep for a week. But sadly we only have the one Bank Holiday this week. So there is no great tip, hint  or example of neurodiverse coupledom this week from me. Rather there is just the reality, that sometimes it just all leaves you exhausted and then it is time to look after yourself and take it a little bit easy.